Bad Decisions Led to a Bad Week

This week has been horrible--pain every night. You see, over the weekend, I decided to be stupid and play soccer. That doesn't sound stupid, but knowing me and the above sentence, you're about to see how stupid it was. I know I'm competitive, especially with sports that I feel comfortable with, so I decided to exert myself because I haven't played soccer since Winter semester 2012. So I play and I get body checked, fall on my tailbone, hard; the force making my legs fly up and I roll along my spine to the nape of my neck.
Then Sunday. I ran up and down the stairs 15 times, which is not good for my ankle. I sprained my ankle Winter semester 2012, but it didn't quite heal right, so I've been having problems with it here. Well, running up and down the stairs inflamed my ankle.
So those were the bad decisions. Since Monday, my ankle and back have been bugging me--burning, stabbing pains--that have either been really bad separately or irritating, but mild together. Moral of the story, don't do stupid things or you'll have to pay the consequences for them.

The Roller Coaster of Life

Life is a roller coaster. Period. Life has ups and downs and times when the force is so great that even when you're moving forward, it feels like your moving backwards. This has definitely been one of those weeks. It seems like since my last post, life has been shattered, rebuilt  and shattered again, only to be rebuilt. Or, to phrase it in roller coaster terms, life has sent me through a series of hill and through a loop-the-loop before I've arrived at this point.

Last week started with me being on a high point and being able to help others solve their problems, only to have my own develop the next day...Luckily I have amazing friends who won't let the car stay at the bottom of the track. They helped me to get over the rough patch and begin going to the top of the next hill. Repeat that process once more and you have the basic idea of my week. But, like I said my week has definitely had a loop-the-loop--there was a point where my days had me going crazy, in a good way. I was spinning in circles and wouldn't calm down.

That's about it for my week. I know that it's vague this week, but if there's one thing I want to leave specifically it's this poem:

One night I had a dream--

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord 

and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. 

For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, 

one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of my life flashed before me, 

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that many times along the path of my life, 

there was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest 

and saddest times in my life. 

This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. 

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, 

you would walk with me all the way, 

but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my 

life 

there is only one set of footprints. 

"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most, 

you should leave me." 

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, 

I love you and I would never, never leave you 

during your times of trial and suffering. 

"When you saw only one set of footprints, 

it was then that I carried you." 

...Mary Stevenson

Crazy Week

So this last week has been crazy. It has definitely been a learning experience for me. I have learned that there are definitely people you can count on, especially when you really need it most. This week has been an emotional roller coaster, but I'm glad to have friends who are willing to listen to my problems for hours and give help and advice. Thanks you guys.

I have also learned that while getting school work done is important, you need to have fun in your life. Balance is super important to happiness. You can't let one thing affect your whole day or week, but take it with a grain of salt and push through any difficulties. See the bright side of things, spend time goofing off with friends, and remember you are worth millions.

On the happy side of things, the BYU softball team won three of their four games this past week and tied the only one they didn't win. My FHE sister, Mercedes, is a part of the team, so my friends and I went to cheer her and the team on. It was a ton of fun...we discussed random baseball/softball related comedy sketches such as "Who's On First" and "What the score...Free snow cone."

That's my advice and story for this week.

Mood Solutions

So I just finished reading my good friend's blog and realized that I am feeling the same way about quite a few points. I don't want to repost what she wrote, so here's the link: http://clairemw.blogspot.com/2012/10/sophomore-girl-syndrome.html
I've also noticed that since I've started feeling this way, I've been in a weird mood. I have been wondering what to do to get out of the weird mood I've been in as a sophomore in college and have found a few things helpful.
1. Get outside and walk around. It's proven that you need the sun to be happy--it provides vitamin D. Besides the nutrients (that's weird to say about being outside) that come from the sun, being outside is just a good change of pace for a college student who is stuck in classrooms, their apartment, and the library for hours at a time studying.
2. Say "hi" to a least one guy each day, whether you know the guy or not. This is easiest to do when in a classroom setting and might lead to a deeper conversation where topics include names, majors, phone numbers, interests, weekend plans, and funny stories. This will also help you to make friends and replace the ones that might be lost if they have left.
3. Be spontaneous. If you make time in your day for all the things you have to do and stick to the same pattern, you're life is going to feel lifeless. Having a routine is nice--it lets you know what you should be doing and when, but you're not supposed to be a robot! Have things in a general plan, but also be flexible enough that if something comes up you aren't going to be able to participate due to you routine.
4. Do something creative. If you go and write, paint, dance, sing, play an instrument, or whatever creative means you enjoy most, you'll find that you can express you feelings away. While you're at it, blast you favorite music and let your creativity wash away the negative emotions you're feeling. It does't have to be for long and you don't have to create a masterpiece, you could even just write about what is causing you to feel the way you do. Just let your feelings out!
5. Let things shape themselves. I've been super worried about the near future for a while now, but I know that things will take care of themselves if I'm doing what I need to today. I know that God hears prayers and answers them and that He has a plan for my life, so while I know there are big deadlines and future event on the horizon, I have faith that God will provide if I do my part.
I hope this helps anyone going through a rough time. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, but I've found these tricks to be helpful when I'm going through hard, depressed, or antisocial times (sometimes a combination of all of the above).

BYU

So right now I'm really confused on where I say I'm from...I grew up in California and that is a big part of who I am, but I also feel that Provo and New York have changed me just as much in less time. That's my biggest problem.
Now on to the update: I'm back at BYU. It's so much fun to be back. I loved New York over the summer, but I am glad to be in a familiar environment. I have two amazing roommates: Tia Thomas and Kali Trost. Tia is a genetics major and works at BYU broadcasting. She's lucky enough to get paid to watch TV. Kali is a nursing major with hopes of transferring to a Texas university. She's amazing at card games (she's beat me at them many times). We are bonding as roommates and personally I'm glad to be with two amazing young women.
Classes are good. Geology is hilarious, and my religion teacher is super outgoing. Creative writing is a challenge, but in the best way possible, although I really don't want to have to write a sonnet. French is going well, it's definitely not 101, but I still enjoy the class. Then there is Early British Literary History. The name makes it sound boring, but the professor makes it interesting. She tell us obscure facts like "The word 'jello' comes from 'hell.'"
Volleyball has become my number one recreational activity. Over the summer it was ultimate Frisbee, but we can't use the field because intramural sports are using it, so I go to the volleyball court to play volleyball, usually for 2.5-3.5 hours at a time. That hasn't made my ankle happy, but it makes me happy. My writing has also increased. I have been writing about a page a night for the last week. I hope to finish the manuscript in about a year, by which time I hope to have my first novel published.
I've had the privilege to reconnect with Kiley, Claire, and Charlotte. They're doing well. We wrote crazy letters to some of the guys we met last year who are serving missions. It was good to be able to go crazy before having to become sane and start classes.
Till next time! =)

Being an English Major and Fireflies

So nothing huge lately. The biggest thing to talk about is New York. I've gotten used to the idea of being here. I like the area; it is beautiful. Right now things here are green, not yellow like in California; and not as hot, although it is more humid. Things for me have gotten into a routine. After waking up, I facebook and check my email (therefore that is the best time to inform me of things 48 hours in advance) and start "acting" like an English major, as Dr. Snyder of BYU's English department would say--basically meaning I read, write, and analyze, though I don't write analysis of what I read; I write novels (literally). Then it varies depending on the day.
So I have found some way to entertain me throughout the day. What I found really cool this week was on Monday night my parents led me and my siblings on a walk through a "forest" path near our house. It was dark, so we could only see dark shapes to tell where the trees were, but there were fireflies. It was fun to see. I have only seen fireflies when I was little and lived in Missouri, but even then, I don't remember them, my parents have only told me stories. But it got even cooler. For those of you who have seen the movie The Sorcerer's Apprentice you will have hear the song "Secrets" by OneRepublic during the scene with the plasma cage. As I walked back to the house, still along the path, the song came on my MP3 player, which was cool as the lightning bugs flickered across our path.
That's all that is new here. I do miss California--the people were wonderful and I miss the beach and the predictable weather. I also miss Utah--the people I met there were so much fun to be around and it was never boring; there was always an adventure waiting to happen. But Western New York is a good place to be too and I am glad that I could get an opportunity to see this coast of the country. Until next time.

Summer Reflections

I know I didn't post for a good six months, but blogging doesn't rank high on my list when compared with hanging out with my roommates. So here is what has happened: 
1) Spent another amazing semester with Kiley, Claire, and Charlotte doing crazy things--wars with our friends upstairs, more yelling out the window, and having Charlotte pretend to be engaged. We also did normal things (so that people don't think that we are totally crazy). We played frisbee, did homework, went on dates, and had rough times.

2) Moved out of the apartment--that was a semisad day. It meant saying good bye to three people who I had come to regard as sisters over the last nine/ten months. It was almost like we had the same personality at the end of the year; not quite because we were all different people, but we all were willing to do crazy things. But moving out also meant getting to go home to my family's "new" house in New York.

3) Entertaining myself in New York--First, I feel that I must dispell a question that many people have been asking me since I arrived in New York: "How do I like the state?" That question can't be answered easily. I do like the nature that is everywhere. Trees and forests are parts of the city and there is a swamp ten minutes away to the north and a waterfall ten minutes away to the south. I am close to the Sacred Grove and love that we can drive to Niagra Falls. But I miss the people I knew in California, the beaches, and the predictable weather. I also miss how the sun would come up through Provo Canyon in Utah and the way that everyone in the apartement complex in my area liked to do activities together. Anyways, enough sad comparisons. Mostly I entertain myself by watching TV and writing in one of the books that I always seem to be working on.

4) Saying good bye as guys leave for missions--this will be the last one because this is what is most pertinent today. I'm happy that the guys are willing and worthy to dedicate two years of their lives to the Lord. *Collin Morris: he grew up with me and was like my brother. He went to Brazil. *Hailame Fisi'iahi: he was one of my brother's best friends and super nice. He also went to Brazil. *Dallin McBride: he was in my apartment complex and super funny; he always knew how to make me smile. He's in Korea. *Connor Barham: he lived in my apartment complex and became one of my closest guy friends. He's going to Washington. *Owen Carroll: he was Connor's roommate and one of the nicest and most cultured guys I think I have ever met. He's going to Ukraine. *Ty Higley: he was one of the guys from building twelve in my apartment complex. He was super nice and kind of competitive. He's going to Brazil. *Brandon Sonnefeld: He's my cousin. He is always willing to listen and make things better. He's also going to Brazil. These are just a few of the guys who became really good friends of mine who are leaving. So go preach the gospel and help others feel the Spirit and maybe there will be a time when we will meet again, whether in this life or the life to come, and reminisce about the fun we have had.

That about wraps up the last six months. I should try to post more often, but we'll see what happens.

Bethanie